The impetus for this thought really grows out of the complaint I have heard too often: I am just not being "fed" at this church/by this pastor?
I have my suspicions on what is meant by this. It isn't a reference to potluck dinners, either. It has to do with the subjective sense of having desires or expectations met. When the desires or expectations are not being met, it would seem to make emotional sense to seek those desires or expectations out somewhere else. There are two questions that need to be asked, and a really hard illustration to prove this wrong.
First the questions we need to ask:
- Is the church not fulfilling its purpose to help one another grow and mature?
- Is the person participating fully in the effort to become mature and to grow?
There are churches than need to tighten up on the purpose that they are mandated with: make disciples for Jesus Christ. That is stated by Christ when he tells the disciples to go into all the world and baptize and teach. That is the purpose made clear through Paul's teaching on the body of Christ. Churches can fall down on "feeding" the people who make up its members. If the answer to the first question is no, then a church needs to refocus on why they are there.
If the first question seems to be a fair "yes" then we move to the second question. Participation is mandatory on the part of individuals. When a person is baptized, their connection to a body of believers carries a responsibility to active participate in the life and ministry and work of that church. We do not join churches for the membership privileges. We join a church to participate in the body of Christ. We become a part of the ongoing work of Christ's mission in the world. It is a never-ending effort to bring the kingdom of God to the world. We are part of the mission to transform lives and bring release, restore the broken, heal the wounded, and bring hope to the hopeless. The kingdom mission cannot continue in a given area unless churches in that area are filled with active, participating disciples. If the answer is no to the second question, then the person is individually accountable to failing in their promise as a follower of Christ. They need to repent, step in, and do something different.
If the answer to both questions is no, then I believe we are seeing a vacuum of Christian witness. If the church is not building people and individuals are not participating at any level, then no one is doing the work of Christ in that area. And if neither want to change, then it is best to close the door, wipe your feet, and move on to using your time in for more productive things (according to your own needs). Christ can bring life back to the dead. If there is no desire to become something new and different, though, Christ won't do anything. To bring more of the same life to a church will only produce more death of spirit.
Now for the hard illustration.
Leaving something wherein a commitment was made just because desires or expectations are not being met is not the answer. The illustration to look toward is a marriage. When a couple get married, there are desires and expectations that each carry into that marriage. If there is no communication of those, then fulfillment of those are only going to be accidental. If there is communication regarding desires and expectations, and they continue to be unfulfilled, then that requires intervention and accountability or transformation of those desires and expectations. If neither party is willing to change, then it is likely moving toward divorce. But I would ask if they were ever truly married to begin with. If they were only interested in serving their own desires and moving for the fulfillment of their own expectations, they were never married in a true sense. They were only seeking after a servant to meet their needs.
The church is made up of people who are supposed to sacrifice their own needs, their own way, to serve the Master and Lord. The Lord has made it clear that serving him requires serving others, sacrificially. If we are not joining churches to serve others, then we are going to be disappointed and disillusioned. If we are joining a church for our needs to be met, we will go very hungry.