What dreams may come

Now it's time to say goodbye

To all our company....

The Mickey Mouse Club closed out it's episodes by singing this tune. I feel the time has come to sing this song for my blog. It isn't that I don't have anything say. It has more to do with my change and changing life. 

I am still very much a postmodern - even though that word is not used anymore. Modernity has slipped and is a shadow of the past. Where we are now is cultural revolution. We are in the midst of it. Those who have moved on from what we were are now trying to establish the foothold for climbing to a place of cultural security. Meanwhile those who hold onto what we were are grabbing at the last places we have moved beyond. At the same time, they are pulling at the shoelaces of those who have moved upward, trying to dislodge our forward and upward advance. 

I am still very much a renaissance person - but not for the sake of others. I still like having a connection to as many subjects as possible. A little bit of knowledge in a lot of subjects is my comfort zone. I like learning. I like facing new facets of knowledge. I like a little bit here and a little bit there. But where I used to seek that out to be relevant to as many people as possible, I now do it because I am just curious for my own sake. I always felt like I needed to know about everything so I could always have something to talk about in a church where I was appointed. Now I realize and cling to learning new things just because I am a nerd for learning.

That brings me to the last description of my blog title. I am no longer a pastor. I don't know if I can ever be a pastor again. I used this blog so many times to just process what I was experiencing the stream of my career. Now I have waded out of that stream. I am sitting on the beach watching the stream move passed. I see where it is going and still have occasional longings to be part of the movement. I know I can't do it, though. It hurts too much. It puts me in a place of too much pain and suffering. I can't be who I am or who I want to be in the context of being a pastor. And so, I need to discover who I am and how I can be that person.

So I feel that the blog may need to change. Maybe it needs to go away only to be replaced by another medium of story-telling. I use Instagram and Facebook a lot more now. I have community in Twitch and Discord. This place never really fulfilled the role of being a place of community. Now that I have lost my primary communities of church, family, and friends, I need to be in a place to transition my community. 

Some people can follow me on social media. I also feel I will have to transform how I communicate. So bear with me, please, as I figure out what will come.