For a while, everyone seemed to be claiming a spirit animal. I didn't really catch onto that fad. First, I respect religions and indigenous people's worldviews that hold spirit animals as something different than what people seemed to be claiming for themselves. And I also recognized that people who were serious about this were drawing upon a new world religious worldview. That really isn't appropriate for a minister of Christian Protestant Wesleyan perspective to act.
But in the process of my coming out, I began to look for something that would represent this new phase of my life. Last Spring, I was listening to a gardening show. The topic one particular day was dealing with mosquitoes organically. I hate mosquitoes. The only God-given purpose I can discern for there existence is to feed bats.
One of the natural ways of controlling those bloodsuckers was to introduce another natural predator of the mosquito. This one surprised me. The host talked about making a dragonfly pond.
Dragonflies always freaked me out when I was younger. They were flitting around and buzzing and without knowing better, I thought those long tails had a stinger.
I got over the fear of dragonflies, eventually, but I never really was that interested in them. Then I heard about them being natural predators of mosquitoes and I became fascinated with them as part of the natural order of the world. Things got more interesting when I began to look for a totem animal that could represent this new phase of my life.
Many people who claim their transgender identity compare it to the butterfly. They compare their "before" life to a caterpillar. It is bland and seems to just crawl along. Once their true, authentic self emerges, it is bright and colorful, like the butterfly. I have been through the whole chrysalis experience analogy. I didn't really fit with it then. I liked the idea of the dragonfly, though, because they are beautiful creatures. Their wings are transparent and catch the light to reflect something. They have brilliant hues of blues and greens that shimmer in the light. They are graceful and seem fragile. But they are hunters. They are natural predators of those bloodsuckers I hate so much.
When I began to seek out some of the spiritual interpretations of dragonflies, there were mentions of transition and change. They represented positive transformations and joy and peace. But the thing that connected most with me was the relation between dragonflies and the samurai.
For the longest time, I have honored the samurai as a noble and honorable class of people. I have built some of my own code of honor and sense of duty around bushido - the code of honor and culture of the samurai. When I discovered that dragonflies had a connection to the samurai, I was immediately drawn to this animal.
Dragonflies were representations of swiftness, courage, and fearlessness. They were thought to be an animal who could not retreat (science has proven this to be false, but even more fascinating in their movement ability) so samurai, who would rather face death than the dishonor of retreat, claimed the dragonfly as a symbol of moving forward in battle. The Japanese built habitats so that dragonflies were encouraged to surround a household and protect children from mosquitoes. The dragonfly became so honored among the samurai that armor and weapons were emblazoned with dragonfly images.
I knew I had found my animal token. I have claimed the dragonfly as the symbol of my life. It is a life where I need courage. I need to remember to keep moving forward. I need the strength to defeat those who would draw my lifeblood: joy, peace, hope, faith, calling. I want to be beautiful and graceful and fill my life with light and color.
As I bring images into my life, I will be adding dragonflies. I am looking for my first earrings to be dragonflies. I look for necklaces and rings and bracelets. I consider the image of them as the daily reminder to keep moving forward (but be SUPER flexible){in addition to the movement of dragonflies, that is a Walt Disney quote I try to model} and be filled with the courage to live into this authentic self.
But in the process of my coming out, I began to look for something that would represent this new phase of my life. Last Spring, I was listening to a gardening show. The topic one particular day was dealing with mosquitoes organically. I hate mosquitoes. The only God-given purpose I can discern for there existence is to feed bats.
One of the natural ways of controlling those bloodsuckers was to introduce another natural predator of the mosquito. This one surprised me. The host talked about making a dragonfly pond.
Dragonflies always freaked me out when I was younger. They were flitting around and buzzing and without knowing better, I thought those long tails had a stinger.
I got over the fear of dragonflies, eventually, but I never really was that interested in them. Then I heard about them being natural predators of mosquitoes and I became fascinated with them as part of the natural order of the world. Things got more interesting when I began to look for a totem animal that could represent this new phase of my life.
Many people who claim their transgender identity compare it to the butterfly. They compare their "before" life to a caterpillar. It is bland and seems to just crawl along. Once their true, authentic self emerges, it is bright and colorful, like the butterfly. I have been through the whole chrysalis experience analogy. I didn't really fit with it then. I liked the idea of the dragonfly, though, because they are beautiful creatures. Their wings are transparent and catch the light to reflect something. They have brilliant hues of blues and greens that shimmer in the light. They are graceful and seem fragile. But they are hunters. They are natural predators of those bloodsuckers I hate so much.
When I began to seek out some of the spiritual interpretations of dragonflies, there were mentions of transition and change. They represented positive transformations and joy and peace. But the thing that connected most with me was the relation between dragonflies and the samurai.
For the longest time, I have honored the samurai as a noble and honorable class of people. I have built some of my own code of honor and sense of duty around bushido - the code of honor and culture of the samurai. When I discovered that dragonflies had a connection to the samurai, I was immediately drawn to this animal.
Dragonflies were representations of swiftness, courage, and fearlessness. They were thought to be an animal who could not retreat (science has proven this to be false, but even more fascinating in their movement ability) so samurai, who would rather face death than the dishonor of retreat, claimed the dragonfly as a symbol of moving forward in battle. The Japanese built habitats so that dragonflies were encouraged to surround a household and protect children from mosquitoes. The dragonfly became so honored among the samurai that armor and weapons were emblazoned with dragonfly images.
I knew I had found my animal token. I have claimed the dragonfly as the symbol of my life. It is a life where I need courage. I need to remember to keep moving forward. I need the strength to defeat those who would draw my lifeblood: joy, peace, hope, faith, calling. I want to be beautiful and graceful and fill my life with light and color.
As I bring images into my life, I will be adding dragonflies. I am looking for my first earrings to be dragonflies. I look for necklaces and rings and bracelets. I consider the image of them as the daily reminder to keep moving forward (but be SUPER flexible){in addition to the movement of dragonflies, that is a Walt Disney quote I try to model} and be filled with the courage to live into this authentic self.
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